Article
Shame: The Core of Addiction and Codependency
From Very Well Mind
At a Glance
Shame is a central, often hidden factor driving issues like addiction and codependency, creating feelings of unworthiness, inferiority, and self-loathing that lead to self-destructive behaviors. Unlike guilt, which motivates correction, shame induces a need to hide, isolating individuals from themselves and others. This chronic shame often originates from unresolved childhood experiences in dysfunctional families and manifests in adulthood through perfectionism, people-pleasing, and relationship difficulties. Healing requires a safe, supportive environment where individuals can process past shame, gradually shift their self-perception, and build healthier, more authentic connections.
The Key Takeaways
Definition of Codependency
Codependency, known as "relationship addiction," is a pattern where individuals excessively rely on others for emotional needs, often sacrificing their own well-being.
Origins in Dysfunctional Families
Codependency often develops in families with addiction, mental illness, or abuse, where individuals learn to prioritize others' needs over their own to maintain family dynamics.
Signs and Behaviors
Codependent individuals typically struggle with low self-esteem, lack healthy boundaries, feel responsible for others’ issues, and may display a strong need to "be needed."
Impact of Dysfunctional Families
Codependency often develops in dysfunctional families, where issues like addiction or abuse are denied. Family members may ignore their own needs, fostering patterns of behavior that can inhibit healthy emotional development.
Emotional Consequences
Codependent individuals may enable the behaviors of those they care for, creating a cycle of dependency that leaves them feeling responsible for others’ well-being while losing a sense of self.
Treatment and Recovery
Overcoming codependency involves building self-awareness, learning to set boundaries, and focusing on self-care. Therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or group therapy, often helps individuals develop healthier relationship patterns.
About Very Well Mind
Here at Verywell Mind, we know that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to mental health and wellness because we’re living it every day with you. That’s why we’re the only dedicated mental health and wellness platform that’s there for you in all aspects of your life—whether you’re living with a mental health condition, managing day-to-day stressors, looking to level up your relationships, or tapping into fascinating psychology theories, we hope you’ll leave feeling empowered to take the next steps toward showing up as your best self.
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