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Codependency Signs, Causes, and Help for a Codependent Relationship

By Sheldon Reid for HelpGuide.org

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At a Glance

Codependency, or "relationship addiction," occurs when someone feels compelled to “save” or constantly attend to another’s needs, often at the expense of their own identity and well-being. This pattern, commonly seen in relationships affected by addiction, involves enabling behaviors like covering up a partner’s issues or shouldering their responsibilities, and can extend beyond romantic relationships to family and friends. Signs of codependency include feeling purposeless outside the relationship, guilt when not meeting a partner’s needs, controlling behaviors, and prioritizing others’ well-being over personal boundaries. Codependency often roots in family dynamics or insecure attachment styles formed in childhood. Recovery involves establishing boundaries, focusing on self-care, and building a secure attachment style by fostering independence and self-worth.

Codependency in relationships

The 5 Key Takeaways

Definition of Codependency

Codependency is a behavioral pattern where an individual feels responsible for "saving" or constantly meeting another person's needs, often sacrificing their own well-being and identity.

Common Signs

Key signs include feeling purposeless outside of the relationship, guilt when focusing on self-care, taking on too much responsibility, enabling harmful behaviors, and struggling to set personal boundaries.

Origins in Family Dynamics and Attachment

Codependent behaviors often stem from childhood experiences in dysfunctional families or insecure attachment styles, where the individual learns to prioritize others’ needs to feel valued.

Enabling and Control Tendencies

Codependent individuals often enable their partner’s destructive behaviors, such as addiction, by shielding them from consequences. They may also attempt to control the relationship, mistakenly believing it will lead to happiness.

Path to Recovery

Key signs include constant self-sacrifice, feeling responsible for another’s well-being, and losing one’s sense of identity within the relationship.


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