Lessons from Laura
| Website: | https://interactlifeline.com |
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| Name: | Carolyn Bradfield |
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January 2018 would have been the month Laura turned 30. Unfortunately, her journey ended on December 21, 2017, when she overdosed on Meth and died when her heart stopped and she wasn't revived in time to save her brain. Carolyn Bradfield, Laura's mother, spent January 2018 dedicated to sharing the lessons learned from her struggles in hopes it reaches, educates and touches other families.
Lessons from Laura
A Million Little Things
Lesson from Laura by Carolyn Bradfield
A Million Little Things chronicles the lives of four friends who connect with each other over their love of hockey. Their lives are up-ended when their friend Jon, who seemingly has it all, jumps out of his office building window, taking his life. The series focuses on the "little things" that those friends should have known, talked about or noticed that would have helped them understand their friend's struggles, supported him and prevented the tragedy.
This show and its title got me to think about the million little things we should notice, talk about and pay attention to that are telling us that our child or loved one is moving down the path toward addiction. As I look back on my daughter Laura's life, there were so many little things that happened that should have given me clues that her risk was high.
Pay Attention to the "Little Things"
Some of the things that predict those at risk for addiction are obvious. If your family has a history of addiction, your child is genetically predisposed to develop the disease as they enter adolescence or young adulthood. In fact, the risk is 10-fold vs. the child with little to no family history. But what are the other "little things" that we should be paying attention to?
Lack of self-regulation
The child that has wild mood swings, is always anxious or angry, and is set off easily doesn't have the ability to regulate their emotions. Later, those children may turn to substances more quickly as a mechanism to try and control those swings.
Poor self esteem
A child that has a poor image of himself is much more likely to be depressed and feel hopeless. Substances are a way to dull the pain or provide an escape
Poor social skills
If your child has difficulty making friends or keeping them and can't find a group to fit in with, there is the potential they will connect with the wrong crowd in high school or beyond.
Can't adjust to change
It's understandable that big changes are disruptive. However, if your child is having issues even with small changes that send them into a tailspin, that inability to cope is a key warning sign of problems down the road.
Adverse childhood experiences (ACE)
The big ACE events in a child's life are obvious (death, divorce, trauma), but what about the little things that a child considers "adverse". For my daughter, it was a change in her sport, a move to a new neighborhood, and entering high school. Those changes disrupted her routine and threw her off balance. She turned to drugs as a way to cope.
My Takeaway
It's so important that parents not wait until the big and obvious things happen that wake them up to dangerous behavior in their child. Pay attention to those "million little things" and focus on how your child manages self-regulation and social skills, how they feel about themselves, how they manage change and if they make a bigger deal than they should about events in their life.
As I look back on Laura's life, there were a million little things that were warnings, but I was not yet educated about what to look for or about the disease of addiction and its warning signs. Could I have intervened and changed the course of what happened? Maybe....
InterAct LifeLine
InterAct provides technology for Virtual Care and Opioid Education Programs for use by treatment programs, state and local governments and non-profits. Carolyn Bradfield founded InterAct LifeLine in 2018, shortly after her daughter overdosed and died.
