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Are You Codependent? Here's how to know for sure Are You Codependent? Here's how to know for sure

Video from Julie Kristina

Are you codependent?From Julia Kristina Counseling, "Here we talk about what codependency is and I break down the 11 key symptoms to look ...

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0 Video-Video jplist-topic-codependent jplist-topic-Julie-Kristina 0 297664 297664 Are you codependent?From Julia Kristina Counseling, "Here we talk about what codependency is and I break down the 11 key symptoms to look for in ourselves, or in others. Codependency is one of the most common reasons people struggle to have healthy relationships. It often starts while growing up in a household where one or both parents had an addiction, substance abuse, or mental health issue.If you've even been too worried to speak up with your own wants, needs or preferences in a relationship because you think your partner will not like it and leave you, that's a really big red flag. Codependency is essentially about needing to be needed and not feeling like you can really express your needs in the relationship.If you are someone who is codependent, don't worry, all is not lost! The first step to healing and making healthy changes is having insight and understanding, and then using that to take constructive action. In this video I also share with you 3 key things you can do to more toward codependency recovery."

Are You Codependent? Here's how to know for sure

Video

Are you codependent?From Julia Kristina Counseling, "Here we talk about what codependency is and I break down the 11 key symptoms to look for in ...

Codependency Codependency

Article from Good Therapy

Codependency From the article in Good Therapy, "Codependency involves sacrificing one's personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. ...

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1 Article-Article jplist-topic-codependency jplist-topic-Good-Therapy 0 297666 297666 Codependency From the article in Good Therapy, "Codependency involves sacrificing one's personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. Someone who is codependent has an extreme focus outside themselves. Their thoughts and actions revolve around other people, such as spouses or relatives.Codependency often appears in relationships which are unbalanced and unhealthy. A person with codependency often tries to save others from themselves. They may get hurt trying to "cure" a partner's addictions or abusive behaviors."Read the Article

Codependency

Article

Codependency From the article in Good Therapy, "Codependency involves sacrificing one's personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. Someone ...

What is Codependency? Are We ALL Codependent... What is Codependency? Are We ALL Codependent...

Article by Harley Therapy

Are We ALL Codependent Sometimes?From the article by Harley Therapy, "But how many of us know what the term really means? What is the real ...

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2 Article-Article jplist-topic-codependency jplist-topic-Harley-Therapy 0 297668 297668 Are We ALL Codependent Sometimes?From the article by Harley Therapy, "But how many of us know what the term really means? What is the real definition of codependency? Well the truth is, its meaning has actually changed. The original use of the word codependency rose out of Alcoholics Anonymous as a way to describe the partners of alcohol abusers. It was noticed that the partners themselves, despite not having a drinking problem, were in a way 'hooked' too, in that they were 'addicted to the addict'. They often had a pattern of being involved with alcoholics, and/or grew up with a parent who was an addict of some sort, whether that was drink, drugs, gambling or a sexual addiction."Read the Article

What is Codependency? Are We ALL Codependent Sometimes?

Article

Are We ALL Codependent Sometimes?From the article by Harley Therapy, "But how many of us know what the term really means? What is the real definition ...

Codependency Puzzle Codependency Puzzle

Enablers & Enabled Codependency Puzzle Source: bpdfamily.com

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3 Infographic-Infographic 0 587228 587228 Enablers & Enabled Codependency Puzzle Source: bpdfamily.com

Codependency Puzzle

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Enablers & Enabled Codependency Puzzle Source: bpdfamily.com

Codependency. A Toxic Love Story Part 1 Codependency. A Toxic Love Story Part 1

A personal story by Jessica Kent

View Video Transcript What's up, you guys! Welcome back. So for today’s video, I'm gonna be ...

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Codependency. A Toxic Love Story Part 1

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View Video Transcript What's up, you guys! Welcome back. So for today’s video, I'm gonna be talking to ...

A Guide to Overcoming Codependency in... A Guide to Overcoming Codependency in...

Strategic Psychology

At a Glance Codependency in relationships is a dysfunctional pattern where one person relies heavily on another for their self-worth and ...

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5 Article-Article jplist-topic-codependency jplist-topic-Family-Dynamics 0 712892 712892 At a Glance Codependency in relationships is a dysfunctional pattern where one person relies heavily on another for their self-worth and well-being, often neglecting their own needs to support their partner. This dynamic, marked by excessive caretaking, lack of boundaries, and control attempts, can lead to frustration, anger, and self-sacrifice. To overcome codependency, individuals should recognize unhealthy patterns, set boundaries, and focus on self-worth. Healthy support involves helping others while respecting their autonomy and prioritizing one's own needs. Therapy can be a valuable resource for identifying codependent behaviors, boosting self-esteem, and fostering independence.. Key Takeaways Definition of Codependency Codependency is an unhealthy dynamic in which one person sacrifices their own needs and relies on another for self-worth, often becoming overly involved in "rescuing" or supporting them. Signs of Codependency Codependent behaviors include excessive caretaking, difficulty setting boundaries, denial of personal needs, and a tendency to control or "fix" the other person, leading to unbalanced and stressful relationships. Impact of Codependency This behavior pattern can result in frustration, resentment, and suppressed anger, as well as low self-esteem and a loss of personal identity, since codependents place others’ needs above their own. Setting Boundaries Establishing personal boundaries is crucial for overcoming codependency, as it allows individuals to prioritize their own well-being without feeling guilty or obligated to meet others’ demands constantly. Practicing Self-Worth Building self-worth outside of relationships is essential. This can be done by valuing oneself, taking care of personal needs, and fostering a strong sense of self independent of others’ validation. Offering Healthy Support Supporting others in a healthy way involves respecting their autonomy, offering advice only when asked, and refraining from controlling or solving their problems. Seeking Professional Help Therapy can help individuals identify and address codependent patterns, improve self-esteem, and develop a more balanced, self-reliant approach to relationships. About Strategic PsychologyLocated in the heart of Canberra, Strategic Psychology is a private practice centered around providing the highest quality of therapy and client care. Established in 2009, Strategic Psychology is now home to 27 brand new purpose-built consulting rooms, a large ‘Marshmallow Room’ (our breakout room named after the Marshmallow experiment), and a warm and comfortable waiting area for clients.  Our motto is ‘Good People Looking After Good People’. We are a forward-thinking, innovative, and enthusiastic group who think about the little things in therapy, which add up to big differences for our clients.   Read the full article to learn more. Previous Codependency and Addiction: How to Overcome It Next Level 3 Feedback

A Guide to Overcoming Codependency in Relationships

Article

At a Glance Codependency in relationships is a dysfunctional pattern where one person relies heavily on another for their self-worth and ...

20 Exercises to Overcome Codependency at Your Own... 20 Exercises to Overcome Codependency at Your Own...

Kristie Plantinga , MA for Best Therapists

At a Glance This article provides a comprehensive guide to overcoming codependency through a series of 20 structured exercises, organized ...

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20 Exercises to Overcome Codependency at Your Own Pace

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At a Glance This article provides a comprehensive guide to overcoming codependency through a series of 20 structured exercises, organized by ...

Symptoms of Codependency Symptoms of Codependency

Article from PsychCentral

Symptoms of CodependencyIn the article from Psych Central, author Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT writes, "Codependency is characterized by a ...

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7 Article-Article jplist-topic-codependency jplist-topic-Codependency-Symptoms jplist-topic-PsychCentral 0 297674 297674 Symptoms of CodependencyIn the article from Psych Central, author Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT writes, "Codependency is characterized by a person belonging to a dysfunctional, one-sided relationship where one person relies on the other for meeting nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs. It also describes a relationship that enables another person to maintain their irresponsible, addictive, or underachieving behavior.Do you expend all of your energy in meeting your partner's needs? Do you feel trapped in your relationship? Are you the one that is constantly making sacrifices in your relationship? Then you may be in a codependent relationship."Read the Article

Symptoms of Codependency

Article

Symptoms of CodependencyIn the article from Psych Central, author Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT writes, "Codependency is characterized by a person ...

Co-Dependency Co-Dependency

An Article in Mental Health America

Co-dependencyFrom the article in Mental Health America, "Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to ...

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8 Article-Article jplist-topic-codependency 0 297678 297678 Co-dependencyFrom the article in Mental Health America, "Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual's ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as "relationship addiction" because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. The disorder was first identified about ten years ago as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Co-dependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior."Read the Article

Co-Dependency

Article

Co-dependencyFrom the article in Mental Health America, "Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. ...

Detaching with Love Detaching with Love

An Article by Sherry Gaba LCSW from Psychology Today

Detaching with LoveAccording to Sherry Gaba in Psychology Today, "By detaching with love, you can maintain your loving, caring relationship ...

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9 Article-Article jplist-topic-codependency jplist-topic-Enabling 0 372668 372668 Detaching with LoveAccording to Sherry Gaba in Psychology Today, "By detaching with love, you can maintain your loving, caring relationship without suffering from burnout, anger, frustration, and even from continuing to enable, which is counterproductive to the addiction recovery process."In this article Sherry Gaba goes over some ways to healthily detach from a loved one suffering from addiction.Read the Article

Detaching with Love

Article

Detaching with LoveAccording to Sherry Gaba in Psychology Today, "By detaching with love, you can maintain your loving, caring relationship without ...

How to Spot the Signs of Codependency How to Spot the Signs of Codependency

From Very Well Mind By Wendy Rose Gould

At a Glance Codependency arises when one person becomes excessively reliant on another, often seen in relationships affected by addiction. ...

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10 Article-Article jplist-topic-codependency jplist-topic-Family-Dynamics 0 712894 712894 At a Glance Codependency arises when one person becomes excessively reliant on another, often seen in relationships affected by addiction. Originally coined in the 1950s to describe partners of those with substance use issues, codependency creates an imbalanced dynamic where the "giver" sacrifices their own needs for the "taker." Rooted in early attachment patterns and influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors, codependency can lead to a loss of self. Recognizing signs, such as self-sacrifice and prioritizing others’ needs, is key. Recovery involves self-awareness, boundary-setting, and often therapy to foster healthier relationships. Verywell / Alison Czinkota The 5 Key Takeaways Definition of CodependencyCodependency is an excessive reliance on another person, often creating an imbalanced relationship where one person (the “giver”) prioritizes the other’s needs (the “taker”) over their own. Origins and ContextThe term "codependency" was first used in the 1950s within the context of substance abuse, describing the dynamic often seen between individuals and their partners with addiction issues. Imbalance in RelationshipsCodependent relationships create an unhealthy dynamic, with one person sacrificing their own needs and well-being, leading to a loss of self. Root CausesCodependency is often influenced by early attachment patterns and factors that may be biological (e.g., heightened empathy), psychological (e.g., caregiving tendencies), or social (e.g., family roles and societal norms). Recognizing CodependencyKey signs include constant self-sacrifice, feeling responsible for another’s well-being, and losing one’s sense of identity within the relationship. Steps for Overcoming CodependencyRecovery involves building self-awareness, setting boundaries, and often seeking therapy to restore personal balance and establish healthier relationships. About Very Well MindHere at Verywell Mind, we know that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to mental health and wellness because we’re living it every day with you. That’s why we’re the only dedicated mental health and wellness platform that’s there for you in all aspects of your life—whether you’re living with a mental health condition, managing day-to-day stressors, looking to level up your relationships, or tapping into fascinating psychology theories, we hope you’ll leave feeling empowered to take the next steps toward showing up as your best self. Read the full article to learn more. Previous Are You Codependent? Here are 11 Key Symptoms to Look For and How To Recover Next Level 2 Feedback

How to Spot the Signs of Codependency

Article

At a Glance Codependency arises when one person becomes excessively reliant on another, often seen in relationships affected by addiction. Originally ...

What is Codependency? Are We ALL Codependent... What is Codependency? Are We ALL Codependent...

From Harley Therapy

At a GlanceCodependency has long been a term used to describe patterns of behavior where individuals excessively rely on others for ...

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What is Codependency? Are We ALL Codependent Sometimes?

Article

At a GlanceCodependency has long been a term used to describe patterns of behavior where individuals excessively rely on others for validation, ...

Codependency. A Toxic Love Story Part 2 Codependency. A Toxic Love Story Part 2

A personal story by Jessica Kent

View Video Transcript What's up, you guys! Welcome back. So for today’s video, I thought I ...

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Codependency. A Toxic Love Story Part 2

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View Video Transcript What's up, you guys! Welcome back. So for today’s video, I thought I would share ...

Codependency and Addiction: How to Overcome It Codependency and Addiction: How to Overcome It

By Barbara Hefferman

View Video Transcript Have you ever found yourself worrying about someone else’s behavior ...

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Codependency and Addiction: How to Overcome It

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View Video Transcript Have you ever found yourself worrying about someone else’s behavior regarding ...

What is Codependency and How to Overcome It What is Codependency and How to Overcome It

Melodie Beattie

View Video Transcript Melody Beattie defines codependency as people who don't love themselves as ...

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What is Codependency and How to Overcome It

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View Video Transcript Melody Beattie defines codependency as people who don't love themselves as much as ...

What Is Codependency? (The Real Link Between... What Is Codependency? (The Real Link Between...

Amber Hollingsworth | Put the Shovel Down

View Video Transcript Now you probably already know that I just don't love the word ...

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15 Video-Video 0 712901 712901 View Video Transcript Now you probably already know that I just don't love the word "codependency," but lately, I've got a lot of requests to talk about codependency, so I think it's a topic worth exploring, which is why in this video, we're going to talk about all the different reasons why a person might be struggling with codependency—what it means and how to get out of it. For those of you who are new here, I'm Amber Hollingsworth, and this is "Put the Shovel Down," the YouTube channel designed to keep you five steps ahead of addiction by helping you understand the science and psychology of addiction, which is going to allow you to make strategic decisions instead of emotional decisions about how to deal with this issue. Hey, if that sounds like something you might be interested in, then consider subscribing. All right, back to our topic. One of the reasons why I really dislike this word "codependency" is because it just doesn't have a lot of clarity around it, and whenever anyone says it, I think we all have a slightly different thought about what that means. So I feel like maybe one of the ways that I can be most helpful is let's put a little clarity and definition and explanation around this word. Now, the whole term "codependency" started to become popular some years back when Melanie Beattie wrote a book called Codependent No More, and it's still considered like the classic textbook for dealing with codependency. I will put the link in the description for you. What it was intended to mean is if you have a relationship with someone who has a drug or alcohol problem, that person with the drug or alcohol problem is dependent on the substance, and then the family member, loved one, friend, or whoever the person is, gets dependent on the person who has the substance abuse problem, and so essentially, both people then become dependent on the addiction. So now we have "co-dependent." When it comes to that explanation of the term, I think I can probably go for that. I can follow that line of thinking. But the waters get a little murky from there because a lot of people use the term "codependent" to mean someone who constantly needs someone else's approval, or they say it to mean someone who has this obsessive need to take care of someone else to get their own needs met. Now, I'm not saying those aren't things—yeah, those are things—but that's not always the reason why someone ends up in a codependent dynamic with someone that they care about. There are some other reasons why that could happen; it's not always a pathological need to be liked or to take care of. Another reason why you might find yourself stuck in a codependent relationship is because you're being controlled by fear—fear that if you don't stay in control of the situation or keep helping, something really bad is going to happen. Maybe you're scared something really bad is going to happen to that person, and you'll lose them. Maybe you're scared that this is the parent of your child, and if you don't try to keep them together, then your children will lose their parent. In fact, I think fear probably really is the primary reason for codependency. I think it's kind of unfortunate that people struggling with codependency get thrown into this "you must just need to be needed." That's not exactly what's going on here in most cases. Another reason why you could be stuck in a codependent relationship is because of guilt. Maybe you feel really guilty, maybe you struggle with feeling guilty if you don't help someone, or it's really hard for you to let someone do without, so that guilt keeps you stuck and sucked into it. For example, I've had family members struggle with addiction, most of you know that. At times, let's say a family member struggled with addiction and couldn't pay their electric bill, and let's say this family member had young children—that would make it really, really hard for me not to pay their electric bill for them. Let me tell you, it didn't have anything to do with my need to be needed—that was definitely not it. It had more to do with the fact that I would feel really, really guilty if there were young children living in this house without electricity. I'd feel terrible about that. So please know that just because someone struggles with codependency doesn't mean that they have this big, giant need to be needed. I mean, a lot of people out there—really, it's almost like they talk about codependency like it's some kind of Munchausen by proxy, like the family member or loved one purposefully keeps the person sick because somehow it gets their needs met. Now, I will agree that sometimes family members contribute to helping someone stay sick, but they're not doing it purposefully, as in like Munchausen's, right? They're stuck in the cycle, and they're just going around the hamster wheel with the person, but they're not usually purposefully trying to keep their loved ones stuck. Now recently, I heard someone describe codependency as an attachment trauma, and I really like that explanation. It's like, I have this attached, secure relationship with this person, and then all of a sudden, they develop some kind of addiction, and that attachment is abruptly broken, and the person can't really make sense of it. Especially when you're dealing with somebody who has a substance abuse problem, right? Because it's like, sometimes they're their real self, and they're there, and you see them, and you feel connected, and it's working. And then other times, they're not. It's the fact that sometimes they are there, and it is working, and it feels like, "Oh, that's themself," or they're getting better, or you start to get hope for some reason. That is what keeps you in your addiction cycle with the person. So yes, codependency is an addiction in and of itself—it's an addiction to the person. In fact, it follows the exact same patterns of other things that are addictive. You know what makes something the most addictive? It's when that something gives intermittent positive reinforcement. So it's not even like it works every time—it works sometimes, and you don't even know when it's gonna work. Just like the drug. Think about the person who uses drugs—sometimes they drink and it works fine, other times they drink and it's not fun and it's a terrible nightmare. But it's that intermittent positive reinforcement that keeps them going back. It's kind of like, "If I could just do it like this," or "If I could just keep it to this," and they keep bargaining with themselves, trying to make that work. That is the exact same thing that happens with the family member. Only they keep trying to go back to the idea that this relationship is going to work, or that this person is going to conquer that problem, or that they're going to get better. They're hopeful, and it keeps you sucked into it because sometimes it is better, and other times it's not. You keep feeling like, "If I could just hang on to them like this," you keep trying to figure out the magic combination formula, ways of behaving or interacting with them that's going to make them stay their regular normal selves and get rid of the addictive behavior. As you can see, it's like two hamsters stuck on a hamster wheel, one behind the other, both getting nowhere. How would you define codependency? What does the word mean to you? When I say that word, what comes to your head? Now, the perfect next topic to go with this topic is helping versus enabling, so I've put that video right up here for you so you can watch it nex Overview of the Video: What Is Codependency? (The Real Link Between Codependency And Addiction) In this video, Amber Hollingsworth discusses the complex nature of codependency, especially in relationships involving addiction. She explains the term’s origins and highlights how fear, guilt, and intermittent reinforcement contribute to codependent dynamics. Amber clarifies misconceptions about codependency, stating it's not always about needing to be needed, but rather a response to trauma and fear. She emphasizes that codependency can function like an addiction itself, with both parties stuck in a cycle that’s hard to break. Key Takeaways:Origins of Codependency: The term originally described relationships where one person is dependent on a substance and the other becomes dependent on the person with the addiction. Both become tied to the addiction itself. Fear as a Driving Factor: Fear is often the root cause of codependency, whether it’s fear of losing the person or fear of negative outcomes. This fear can make individuals stay in unhealthy dynamics. Guilt’s Role in Codependency: Many people stay in codependent relationships due to guilt, especially when children or other vulnerable individuals are involved, making it hard to set boundaries. Misconceptions about Codependency: Codependency is not solely about needing to feel needed; it's also influenced by external circumstances like addiction or fear of abandonment. Codependency as an Addiction: Codependency mimics the patterns of addiction, where intermittent positive reinforcement keeps individuals trapped, hoping for moments when the relationship seems to improve. Attachment Trauma: Codependency can be viewed as an attachment trauma, where the bond between two people is repeatedly broken and restored due to the addiction, creating a confusing and distressing dynamic. Amber Hollingsworth | Put the Shovel Down Hello  my name is Amber. I've been dealing with addiction my whole life. I grew up in an addicted family and later became a Master Addiction Counselor. So, I understand addiction from both perspectives. The conflict and chaos between people with addiction and their loved ones is the power source for addiction. Stop wasting your energy on power struggles, resentment, and self-pity, and you'll be able to beat addiction once and for all. Put the Shovel Down Channel Previous Codependency Home Next What is Codependency and How to Overcome It

What Is Codependency? (The Real Link Between Codependency And Addiction)

Video

View Video Transcript Now you probably already know that I just don't love the word "codependency," but ...

Shame: The Core of Addiction and Codependency Shame: The Core of Addiction and Codependency

From Very Well Mind

At a Glance Shame is a central, often hidden factor driving issues like addiction and codependency, creating feelings of unworthiness, ...

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Shame: The Core of Addiction and Codependency

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At a Glance Shame is a central, often hidden factor driving issues like addiction and codependency, creating feelings of unworthiness, inferiority, ...

5 Signs You're in a Codependent Relationship 5 Signs You're in a Codependent Relationship

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5 Signs You're in a Codependent Relationship

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Are You Codependent? Here are 11 Key Symptoms to... Are You Codependent? Here are 11 Key Symptoms to...

Julia Kristina Counseling

View Video Transcript Do you think codependence might be something you're struggling with? Many ...

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Are You Codependent? Here are 11 Key Symptoms to Look For and How To Recover

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View Video Transcript Do you think codependence might be something you're struggling with? Many people find ...

How I broke free from codependency — and... How I broke free from codependency — and...

From National Public Radio August 30, 202410:02 AM ET by Gina Ryder

At a Glance Codependency, often described as “relationship addiction,” involves ...

Podcast
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How I broke free from codependency — and learned the meaning of loving relationships

Podcast

At a Glance Codependency, often described as “relationship addiction,” involves placing ...

Codependency Signs, Causes, and Help for a... Codependency Signs, Causes, and Help for a...

By Sheldon Reid for HelpGuide.org

« Back to Codependency At a Glance ...

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20 Video-Video jplist-topic-codependency 0 712904 712904 « Back to Codependency At a Glance Codependency, or "relationship addiction," occurs when someone feels compelled to “save” or constantly attend to another’s needs, often at the expense of their own identity and well-being. This pattern, commonly seen in relationships affected by addiction, involves enabling behaviors like covering up a partner’s issues or shouldering their responsibilities, and can extend beyond romantic relationships to family and friends. Signs of codependency include feeling purposeless outside the relationship, guilt when not meeting a partner’s needs, controlling behaviors, and prioritizing others’ well-being over personal boundaries. Codependency often roots in family dynamics or insecure attachment styles formed in childhood. Recovery involves establishing boundaries, focusing on self-care, and building a secure attachment style by fostering independence and self-worth. The 5 Key Takeaways Definition of Codependency Codependency is a behavioral pattern where an individual feels responsible for "saving" or constantly meeting another person's needs, often sacrificing their own well-being and identity. Common Signs Key signs include feeling purposeless outside of the relationship, guilt when focusing on self-care, taking on too much responsibility, enabling harmful behaviors, and struggling to set personal boundaries. Origins in Family Dynamics and Attachment Codependent behaviors often stem from childhood experiences in dysfunctional families or insecure attachment styles, where the individual learns to prioritize others’ needs to feel valued. Enabling and Control Tendencies Codependent individuals often enable their partner’s destructive behaviors, such as addiction, by shielding them from consequences. They may also attempt to control the relationship, mistakenly believing it will lead to happiness. Path to Recovery Key signs include constant self-sacrifice, feeling responsible for another’s well-being, and losing one’s sense of identity within the relationship. About HelpGuide.org HelpGuide.org is an independent nonprofit that runs one of the world’s leading mental health websites. Each month, millions of people from all around the world turn to us for trustworthy information they can use to improve their mental health and make healthy changes. Read the full article to learn more.

Codependency Signs, Causes, and Help for a Codependent Relationship

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8 Signs You May Be Codependent 8 Signs You May Be Codependent

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8 Signs You May Be Codependent

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How to Stop Being Codependent How to Stop Being Codependent

My Amy Morin, Very Well Mind

At a Glance Codependency, often called "relationship addiction," is a learned behavior where individuals become excessively reliant on ...

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22 Article-Article jplist-topic-codependency jplist-topic-Family-Dynamics 0 712906 712906 At a Glance Codependency, often called "relationship addiction," is a learned behavior where individuals become excessively reliant on others in unhealthy ways. It frequently appears in dysfunctional families, especially those affected by addiction, mental illness, or abuse. Codependent individuals tend to sacrifice their own needs to care for others, developing patterns such as low self-esteem, boundary issues, and an overwhelming need to be needed. Common signs include difficulty asserting oneself, an intense need for approval, and feeling responsible for others’ problems. Recovery from codependency involves setting boundaries, self-care, and often professional support, including group therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy, to foster healthier relationship patterns and personal well-being. Witthaya Prasongsin / Getty Images The Key Takeaways Definition of CodependencyCodependency, known as "relationship addiction," is a pattern where individuals excessively rely on others for emotional needs, often sacrificing their own well-being. Origins in Dysfunctional FamiliesCodependency often develops in families with addiction, mental illness, or abuse, where individuals learn to prioritize others' needs over their own to maintain family dynamics. Signs and BehaviorsCodependent individuals typically struggle with low self-esteem, lack healthy boundaries, feel responsible for others’ issues, and may display a strong need to "be needed." Impact of Dysfunctional FamiliesCodependency often develops in dysfunctional families, where issues like addiction or abuse are denied. Family members may ignore their own needs, fostering patterns of behavior that can inhibit healthy emotional development. Emotional ConsequencesCodependent individuals may enable the behaviors of those they care for, creating a cycle of dependency that leaves them feeling responsible for others’ well-being while losing a sense of self. Treatment and RecoveryOvercoming codependency involves building self-awareness, learning to set boundaries, and focusing on self-care. Therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or group therapy, often helps individuals develop healthier relationship patterns. About Very Well MindHere at Verywell Mind, we know that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to mental health and wellness because we’re living it every day with you. That’s why we’re the only dedicated mental health and wellness platform that’s there for you in all aspects of your life—whether you’re living with a mental health condition, managing day-to-day stressors, looking to level up your relationships, or tapping into fascinating psychology theories, we hope you’ll leave feeling empowered to take the next steps toward showing up as your best self. Read the full article to learn more.

How to Stop Being Codependent

Article

At a Glance Codependency, often called "relationship addiction," is a learned behavior where individuals become excessively reliant on others in ...

Codependency from Mental Health America Codependency from Mental Health America

Mental Health America

At a Glance Codependency is a learned behavior, often passed down through generations, where individuals become emotionally and ...

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23 Article-Article jplist-topic-codependency jplist-topic-Family-Dynamics 0 712907 712907 At a Glance Codependency is a learned behavior, often passed down through generations, where individuals become emotionally and behaviorally reliant on others in ways that hinder healthy, balanced relationships. Known as "relationship addiction," codependency frequently involves one-sided, unhealthy dynamics, particularly in relationships with individuals suffering from addiction or chronic illness. Originating from studies of alcoholic families, codependency is common in dysfunctional families where underlying issues like addiction or abuse are denied. Codependent individuals often sacrifice their own needs to care for others, leading to low self-esteem, difficulty setting boundaries, and dependency on relationships for validation. Treatment involves exploring early experiences, relearning healthy behaviors, and developing self-reliance to foster fulfilling, balanced relationships. The Key Takeaways Definition of CodependencyCodependency is a learned behavior involving an unhealthy reliance on others in relationships, often to the detriment of one’s own needs and identity. It is sometimes called "relationship addiction" because of its one-sided and often damaging nature. Origins and ContextThe concept of codependency emerged from studies on families affected by alcoholism, where individuals took on excessive caretaking roles. It’s now recognized more broadly as a pattern in dysfunctional families beyond just addiction. Characteristics and SignsCodependent individuals tend to prioritize others’ needs above their own, struggle with low self-esteem, lack boundaries, and seek validation through relationships, often at their own expense. Impact of Dysfunctional FamiliesCodependency often develops in dysfunctional families, where issues like addiction or abuse are denied. Family members may ignore their own needs, fostering patterns of behavior that can inhibit healthy emotional development. Cycle of Enabling and DependencyCodependent individuals may enable the behaviors of those they care for, creating a cycle of dependency that leaves them feeling responsible for others’ well-being while losing a sense of self. Treatment and RecoveryAddressing codependency involves therapy, self-awareness, and learning to set boundaries. Treatment helps individuals reconnect with their own needs, break unhealthy patterns, and build self-reliance for healthier relationships. About Mental Health AmericaMental Health America is the nation's leading national nonprofit dedicated to the promotion of mental health, well-being, and illness prevention. Our work is informed, designed, and led by the lived experience of those most affected. Operating nationally and in communities across the country, Mental Health America advocates for closing the mental health equity gap while increasing nationwide awareness and understanding through public education, direct services, tools, and research. Our annual State of Mental Health in America report is among the most widely respected health reports in the nation.  Read the full article to learn more.

Codependency from Mental Health America

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At a Glance Codependency is a learned behavior, often passed down through generations, where individuals become emotionally and behaviorally reliant ...

Codependency Codependency

From Good Therapy

At a GlanceCodependency involves prioritizing others' needs over one's own, leading to unbalanced and unhealthy relationships. Codependent ...

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24 Article-Article jplist-topic-codependency jplist-topic-Family-Dynamics 0 712908 712908 At a GlanceCodependency involves prioritizing others' needs over one's own, leading to unbalanced and unhealthy relationships. Codependent individuals often try to "save" others from their issues, which can lead to personal harm. Common symptoms include low self-esteem, poor boundaries, a need to "save" others, self-denial, perfectionism, and control issues. Codependency often stems from childhood experiences in dysfunctional households. It can also develop in relationships involving addiction or abuse. While codependency isn't a mental health diagnosis, it is associated with conditions like depression and anxiety. Therapy can help individuals reduce codependent behaviors and develop healthier relationships. The 5 Key Takeaways Definition and Focus Codependency is characterized by sacrificing one's own needs to meet the needs of others, with an extreme focus on other people, such as spouses or relatives. This often leads to thoughts and actions revolving around others rather than oneself. Symptoms of Codependency Common symptoms include low self-esteem, poor boundaries, a need to "save" others, self-denial, perfectionism, and control issues. Codependent individuals often deny their own needs and seek validation through helping others, leading to significant emotional distress. Root CausesCodependency typically originates in childhood, particularly in homes where emotions are ignored or punished. Children in such environments may take on adult responsibilities, leading to blurred boundaries and a deep-seated need to be needed. Impact on RelationshipsCodependency often manifests in relationships involving addiction or abuse. The codependent person may take on a caretaker role, enabling the partner's addiction or abusive behavior. This dynamic can prevent the partner from seeking necessary help and can also harm the codependent individual by worsening their mental health. Mental Health Concerns and Therapy While codependency itself is not a mental health diagnosis, it is linked to conditions such as depression, anxiety, and personality disorders. Therapy can help individuals identify and address codependent behaviors, fostering healthier relationships and improving overall well-being. Good TherapyMillions of people use GoodTherapy to find therapists and counselors, rehab and residential treatment centers, and mental health resources. If you or someone you know is experiencing mental health or behavioral concerns, relationship issues, or other challenges, search our directory to a find a qualified therapist near you. Everyone struggles at times. Our core purpose is to make it easier for people to access mental health services and the dedicated professionals who provide them, anywhere in the world. To help promote successful outcomes, we offer practitioners in our membership a variety of benefits: referrals, nationally recognized continuing education, publication opportunities, marketing expertise, data-driven performance tracking, personalized support, and more. List your practice and get found. Read the full article to learn more.

Codependency

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At a GlanceCodependency involves prioritizing others' needs over one's own, leading to unbalanced and unhealthy relationships. Codependent ...

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From the Life Academy

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28 Video-Video 0 712913 712913 View Video Transcript Hi, welcome to this video. My name is Tom from thelifeacademy.com, and in this video, we will make visible what the real root cause of codependency, also known as pathological loneliness, really is. Because on the internet, I see so many videos analyzing, blaming, or labeling the narcissist and how we can protect ourselves against these other people or how to recover from them and their actions. But I've experienced myself that watching these videos with belief solutions didn't solve the actual problem at all. Not even leaving manipulative people will solve the root because it's most likely we will start anew with a similar kind of relationship afterward, and this is because the root of the problem hasn't been solved within ourselves yet. Now, by watching this video, this is about to change for you. Only when we know what the real root cause is can we heal the root and therefore automatically liberate ourselves from every other victim symptom, such as staying in the role of being a victim, feeling powerless, dependence, stopping pleasing others, and letting ourselves be manipulated by not staying true to our "yes" and our "no" and letting other people control us. We experience the feeling of being tired or even exhausted, and some of us stay within the role of being emotionally and even physically abused, finding ourselves living in a dark world where we are being dominated and finding ourselves being trapped in mind games. From the moment we know what the real root of the problem is, we will be able to stop being codependent completely and for once and for all. You don't have to feel ashamed for the fact that you are still codependent because we all encounter this somewhere in our lives before we choose to start healing the root cause. Now, the only difference might be that some people might be better at hiding the fact that they are codependent behind a shiny mask in society until that mask cracks. Obviously, being codependent comes down to one thing: the fear that ever crosses your mind—the fear that we will be abandoned while being our true selves. Do you know why we are so afraid to be abandoned and to be left alone with ourselves? When we are left alone, there wouldn't be any distractions left from our own unsolved pain that we do not want to feel. So, pleasing others, letting others control us, or letting others cross our boundaries, blaming others, being manipulated, being a victim, and even being emotionally abused, it is all better as a distraction rather than being left alone with our own unsolved pain and our own feelings of unworthiness. Now, we can learn all kinds of valuable techniques, for example, by not ever going into the story of the manipulator, or you can avoid going into the story by responding, "Interesting, I wonder why you think that of me," or, "I would love to continue our conversation when you have calmed down." That is possible, to not go into the story anymore. But all those techniques won't solve the root cause of the problem yet. The root cause of being manipulated or of being codependent is that, unconsciously, it still serves us as a distraction from our own unsolved pain. At the same time, it is limiting it to live the true, the free, the authentic, and the natural life that we are born for. Instead of solving the root cause of being a victim of manipulation, myself, I used to blame, analyze, label, or try to change the manipulator for my own protection or for my own benefits. But that approach didn’t work, and it never liberated me from my own victim reality. On the contrary, turning someone into a label turns them into an object, and for our own benefit, and that is exactly what a manipulator does too. What will help you from the root up is changing our own dark place, or the own dark world where we're living, and turning on the light ourselves. Because when we turn on the light ourselves, there isn't any darkness possible around us anymore. But in order to be able to turn on the light ourselves, not just a tiny bit but completely, we will have to face all of our fears and all of our pains and solve them from the root up. And it is then, only then, we will be able to change the way we look at things, and then, only then, the things we look at will change too. We will stop blaming others for our own darkness, and we will start taking our own responsibility. We will start shifting our reality from being a victim to being independently fulfilled and driven by inner power. I'm very glad that after many years of struggling, I finally found a way to solve the root of all pain, and very importantly, without having to feel that pain again. And once you know how, it isn’t that difficult either. Solving our own pain doesn’t just liberate us from the victim reality and from the distractions, but it also creates an opening to the unique life each and every one of us is actually born for. Now, to enter the root of the problem, together with all its symptoms, for once and for all, and therefore to shine the light onto our dark codependency or onto our dark fear, I came up with a fundamental drawing to show you. I don’t want to give you a superficial solution, so I want to take you back to the origin, to the moment we were born. Let's represent this heart as a symbol of our free, pure, and fulfilled feelings from at our birth. Then, from the moment until now, we all have encountered painful emotions, and none of us have learned how to solve this pain, and the pain sets around our pure and fulfilled feelings. Of course, none of us really want to feel this pain—that's why we all found a different way of dealing with this. Do you know how? By building a wall of control around it. And how do we build that wall? We all know this, I guess. From that moment, we stopped living from our feeling and we started living from our mind or our thinking. Let me symbolize this brain for our thinking. From that moment, we use our thinking non-stop to search for distractions outside ourselves that have to prevent us from feeling pain. And these distractions or our non-stop thinking is, of course, "I should be doing this," or "I should be doing this," or "Otherwise it wouldn’t feel right," this and that, and this annoying little voice inside our head—I’m sure we all know it—serves as a bandaid on top of our wall of control to prevent ourselves from feeling. The problem is that we do not just cover up our pain but also our pure feelings, and within our distractions, we are still looking for a feeling. For example, in creating success, we are actually looking for a feeling of fulfillment, or by starting a relationship because we’d rather not be alone, because then we are not distracted anymore, and then we feel pain. So, we are searching for a feeling to fulfill ourselves with a relationship. And even in simple things, a new smartphone, a new car, a new house—we search for this long-lasting feeling of being complete and fulfilled by running away from our feelings. The contradiction shows itself very clearly, yet we do not question ourselves about these choices and the routine that it has become for so many of us. We would rather invest all our money and time to build a life filled with these distractions that never work permanently, that create something like a reality replacement for the feeling that we are actually missing. And this becomes a replaced identity of ourselves, and we start to believe we have become this illusion. The problem is that when we are running away from our feelings and at the same time are looking in these distractions for a feeling of fulfillment that never comes, then we will have to continuously search for new distractions—new, new, etc., etc.—until we can't keep up anymore. This pattern is extremely exhausting—we all are aware of this. Let me symbolize sweat drops for this. This is an imprisoning pattern—let me symbolize this lock for this. Now, what is fear? Fear is just a resistance that we would fail in getting our next distraction, or that one of our creative distractions will disappear or will be taken away from us, because then our bandaid will no longer work, and then, obviously, we will start to feel the pain again that we haven’t resolved yet. I hope by showing you this drawing that fear has a very valuable function, that fear is not only pretty annoying, but it’s also a wake-up call that this replacement reality doesn’t work. So, as long as we still experience fear, it tells us that we are still having unsolved pain and are settling for a replacement reality instead of independently feeling fulfilled in a life in freedom. There actually is a reality possible in which we can choose to live the way we really are—feeling independently fulfilled without fear and unsolved pain. If you learn to solve all of our unsolved pain and fear, then our restless thinking to escape in distractions isn’t necessary anymore either. And only then we can start to create in freedom. Only then can we create a relationship in freedom or success or whatever we feel like creating. And only then, we don’t have any fears that it will disappear again. And only then can we truly enjoy to the fullest, and we don’t have any fears anymore that things, people, or our achievements may be taken away from us, because we feel complete and fulfilled independently without experiencing fear and having pain anymore. Do you know the difference between creating something as a distraction, or as an addiction, or as a compensation? Because this is the mask we all are wearing—the mask of pretending. Do you know the difference between doing this and doing something upon free will? An easy way to check: if you stop doing what you are doing and you are still feeling completely fulfilled, then you are acting upon free will. On the other hand, when you stop doing what you’re trying to do or achieve and you start feeling restless,Do you know the difference between doing this and doing something upon free will? An easy way to check: if you stop doing what you are doing and you are still feeling completely fulfilled, then you are acting upon free will. On the other hand, when you stop doing what you’re trying to do or achieve and you start feeling restless, Overview of the Video: Codependency: how to overcome it forever: the root cause revealed In this video, Tom from LifeAcademy.com discusses the root cause of codependency, which he terms "pathological loneliness." He emphasizes that codependency is not merely a result of manipulative relationships or external factors like narcissists, but rather stems from unresolved inner pain. Tom explains that we often distract ourselves by seeking validation, controlling others, or avoiding being alone, which ultimately perpetuates the problem. True liberation, he argues, comes from addressing and resolving this internal pain, allowing us to live authentically without the need for distractions or external validation. Key Takeaways:Root Cause of Codependency: Codependency is rooted in unresolved internal pain and loneliness, not external factors like manipulative people. Distractions Mask Pain: People often use distractions, such as pleasing others or controlling relationships, to avoid confronting their own pain. Importance of Facing Inner Pain: Healing and liberation from codependency come from facing and resolving deep-seated fears and emotional wounds. Living Authentically: Once inner pain is resolved, individuals can live authentically and independently, no longer relying on external validation or distractions. Freedom from Fear: Addressing inner pain allows for a life free of fear, where relationships and success are no longer driven by insecurity. Alive Academy All fear, pain, restlessness or diseases are valuable alarm signals that are there for us to make us pay attention to the root of these symptoms. Once we make visible what the real root or cause of these symptoms are, we can heal the root and therefore automatically every other symptom.  The intention of this channel is to make the root of every symptom visible, so it can be healed completely and for once and for all. Alive Academy Previous « Add Title Next « Add Title

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Learning Track

Codependency

Overcoming Codependency for Healthier Recovery Support

Discover how to recognize and overcome codependent behaviors to foster resilience in both yourself and your loved one. Find practical tools and strategies to build healthier relationships and support lasting recovery, empowering you to navigate the complex dynamics of addiction with confidence and compassion.

60 min

3 levels

9 lessons

Bonus:  Stories

Chat with "Rootie", Your AI Companion

Rootie is your personal guide to help you explore boundaries. Open Rootie at any time by selecting the chat icon in the bottom right hand corner of the page. 

Codependency

Level 1: What is Codependency?
Learn how to define codependency and the impact it has in creating unhealthy relationships.
What Is Codependency? (The Real Link Between Codependency And Addiction)

Learn about the complex nature of codependency, especially in relationships involving addiction. 

7.18 Minutes

What is Codependency and How to Overcome It

Learn how codependency occurs when individuals consistently prioritize others over themselves.

7.31 Minutes

What is Codependency? Are We ALL Codependent Sometimes?

Learn why codependency is so complex.

3 Minute Read

Level 2: The Signs of Codependency
Learn how to recognize the signs that you are in a codependent relationship.
5 Signs You're in a Codependent Relationship

Explore how codependent relationships occur when partners depend on each other for validation.

5.30 Minutes

Are You Codependent? Here are 11 Key Symptoms to Look For and How To Recover

Learn 11 symptoms of codependency include difficulty saying no, taking responsibility for others' problems, and fear of abandonment.

12.38 Minutes

How to Spot the Signs of Codependency

Learn how to recognize codependency signs, such as self-sacrifice and prioritizing others’ needs.

3 Minute Read

Level 3: How to Overcome Codependency
Explore ways that you can break free from codependent relationships.
20 Exercises to Overcome Codependency at Your Own Pace

This article provides a comprehensive guide to overcoming codependency through a series of 20 structured exercises, organized by difficulty.

3 Minute Read

Codependency and Addiction:  How to Overcome It

Learn how to break the cycle when your well being is tied to someone struggling with addiction.

15.56 Minutes

A Guide to Overcoming Codependency in Relationships

Learn how to overcome codependency by recognizing unhealthy patterns, setting boundaries, and focusing on self-worth.

3 Minute Read

Bonus: Learning from Stories
Gain insights from others facing the challenges of codependent relationships and we invite you to share your own story to help others.
Codependency. A Toxic Love Story Part 1

Jessica Kent shares her story of being in a toxic relationship with Randy during the height of her addiction.

11.50 Minutes

Codependency, A Toxic Love Story Part 2

This is part two of the Jessica Kent story on her toxic relationship

10:50 Minutes

Share Your Story

Do you have a story about the challenges of being in a codependent relationship?  Share your story so others can learn from your experience.

5 minutes